What am I, the answer man? Just vote for me!

Hi Internet! Who else was unable to tear themselves away from the television last night, despite being unbelievably exhausted, because they didn't want to miss a single sighing breathy giggling inflammatory whiny McCainy crazy promise moment? There were some classics! Mavericky maverick John McCain is frankly not buying this "women's health" baloney, for instance. He accused Barack Obama of class warfare and wanting to "spread the wealth around"! Right after proposing that the emphatically NOT SOCIALIST United States government buy up 300 billion dollars worth of toxic mortgages, because sometimes the free market just needs the state to own everything in order for capitalism to work! Also, John McCain was deeply hurt by Congressman John Lewis' comments that the creepy racists at McCain rallies are creepy racists but he also insisted on his right to call Obama a terrorist supporter of voter fraud. That is just how these debates work.

It was actually honestly kind of amazing how much Barack knocked it out of the park. Throughout the entire thing he was calm, thoughtful, engaged, and polite, while John McCain just sort of had a stroke for ninety minutes. Maybe the race is all wrapped up already? Or maybe McCain watches the Simpsons as much as I do: character assassination, crazy promises, and having a stroke onstage totally worked for Homer Simpson when he ran for trash commissioner, even though he was running against Steve Martin! I know there's only two weeks or so until the election, but do you think it's too much to hope for that Sarah Palin will sing a song based on "The Candy Man Can" for the American people before this is all over? It's not like she's inexperienced or anything.