Disco at the end of the world.

I am annoyed. I have been annoyed since the summer of 2007, when Gawker did my alma mater the gross injustice of excluding it from the running for Most Annoying Liberal Arts College In America. I am annoyed because Bennington made the list, and when I first read Bret Easton Ellis' The Rules of Attraction there were enough similarities to get me thoroughly creeped out. I became convinced that New College of Florida in the twenty-first century was channeling Bennington in the eighties. Right down to our twin, perpetual obsessions with retro- and apocalypse-themed revelry, which was fun while it lasted but also something I thought I'd left there.

So imagine my surprise last night when I found myself at an End-Of-The-World party sponsored by Absolut! On an evening when the market had just finished terrifying everyone with no end to the plunge in sight, scores of lovely glittery partiers lined up outside historic 583 Park to smoke, primp, and ask each other whether we'd all be living in caves three months from now. Thankfully we didn't have to have these conversations sober for very long; the non-red-carpet doors opened just after eight, letting the crowd flow in over the steps like chilled vodka over the memories of a stock portfolio.

And inside? Absolut had provided absolutely everything a person could need to properly celebrate the world catching fire. Tattooed girls in daisy dukes with pigtails and on roller skates? Check. Half-naked men entirely covered in silver body paint? Check. Peach bitter cocktails with edible flowers, champagne cocktails with strawberry puree? Check. Models in blue-and-chrome tutus (courtesy of Patricia Field, also in attendance) and a mezzanine from which to leer at them? Amanda Lepore? Check, check, check. It was a fabulous time. I drank a lot. And since Absolut does provide for a staple of human existence that can only get more popular as our financial crisis worsens, I'm eagerly looking forward to Absolut Disco 2009. I just hope my lack of memories can hold me over til then.